earthworms tunnel- through
darkness -salt diamonds shimmer
wind ripples through light
Alternate ending line:
earthworms tunnel- through
darkness -salt diamonds shimmer
wind’s touch ,light’s ripples
—end—
Which ending do you like?
This 17 syllable Haiku was written for the 100 word photo challenge. More details about this challenge can be found at:
https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2016/05/04/6-may-2016/
Click on the Froggy below for other amazing takes on the same prompt by fellow “Friday Fictioneers.”
Wonderful.
I like the ‘wind ripples through light’. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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I, too, like the first one better. Wind ripples through light has something uplifting.
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Thank you.
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Nice haikus! I like the first one better though. It flows better for me.
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Thank you!
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Yup, The first one
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That seems to tbe the popular choice. Thanks for reading.
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Yeah I have to agree, I love the first one! 😃
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Thank you Laurie.
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A Haiku and a bonus Haiku too! Contrary to others I like the second one. I like “wind’s touch” 🙂
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Finally someone who see the second one’s value 🙂
Thanks for reading Ali.
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I kind of like that alternate ending. Not that it reads better but because it “experiences” better, if that makes any sense. Stronger feelings, I think.
I love me some haiku. Thanks for this!
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After writing the first one I felt that it didn’t convey the image/ experience in my mind fully , even though the first one flowed well. Hence the second…Glad you liked it.
Thanks for reading.
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You are MOST welcome.
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I like the first one better.
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You are with the majority here . Thanks for reading 🙂
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i like the first one better. 🙂
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First impressions are the best maybe? 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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I like the first one.
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Thanks Dawn. First one seems to be the choice of many.
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I like the second one, but that is my opinion, and everyone has one of those.
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Not many choose the second one…it takes an unique reader to feel the words beyond the flow 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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It’s the first one for me.
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It seems to the choice of the majority 🙂 Thanks for reading Mike.
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Dear Ansumani,
I’m torn. I like both lines but I think I’m partial to the second. I like the idea of the light rippling. Either way, nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle, I was torn too when writing and couldn’t make up my mind on which Haiku to keep and which Haiku to delete . But since I was way within the 100 word limit I decided to let the readers decide for me 🙂
Thanks for reading.
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I like “wind ripples through light”. It has a better flow in my opinion. Well done, Ansumani. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Lovely! And I like the first one more.
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